Skip to main content

About your Search

Search Results 0 to 4 of about 5 (some duplicates have been removed)
. you heard from the white house. here is comedian jon stewart giving his response to the duelling speeches from the president and house speaker john boehner over the debt stalemate. >> i think your financial austerity path message may be slightly undercut by the begolden shared red carpet path you walk down to tell us about it. isn't there any way to to do the tighten the belt speech from a room that doesn't look like the foyer of the vatican. if willy wonka had to address the chocolate shortage, might not do it from the water fall room. >> the bigger the government, the smaller the people. >> bigger government, smaller the people. that means the smaller the government, the bigger the people. which means if we get rid of government we'll have giant people! >> time for your political ticker with tim farley host of "mourning briefing." glad we had jon stewart to make it funny for us because it's no laughing matter. less than a week away from the debt ceiling deadline. tim, the news is that the house has delayed the vote. speaker boehner said two nights ago he was going to have a pla
with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: hey, everybody. welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling on august 2nd, man will be sentenced to an eternity of licking our own pet's genital, because what would we really do? let them dry out? of course not. [laughter] so hopefully our president, barack obama, can in one swift rooseveltian "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" moment ease the american psychoi can. >> can you tell the folks at home that no matter what happens the social security checks will go out on august 3rd. >> i cannot guarantee that t
on the sidewalk. >> i did that in 1993. >> did a wonderful job of it. wouldn't you know, it jon stewart is watching. >> oh, lord. >> a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la senaro. a weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it. but where we humans saw hardship, tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you cook eggs on the street. cook cookies on a dashboard. i'll taste the pizza. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off of the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [ bleep ]. fork when we ate it. as long as i live, as long as i live -- you don't -- how dare you disrespect. you son of a -- >> kind of -- the new york morphed into a deniro. >> it is. >> brando. >> who made jon do that? >> so funny about that. it's not anything like -- he goes there more every time. >> he's being a real new yorker going after him. here it is. the donald -- we loved it. >> no, honey. >> no! >> he's very sweet. he's trying to be elegant. >> don't do that. >> a plastic fork. >> trying not to eat the bread. >> that's true. i do notice that
Search Results 0 to 4 of about 5 (some duplicates have been removed)